Author name: Don Gray

Have you ever seen the same number popping up in front of you multiple times a day? Whether it’s a time on a clock, or number on a license plate or billboards, you just keep seeing the same number and it feels like its nudging you. I’ve had this happen to me many times. There was a season of my life, a very difficult season, I kept seeing the number ‘911’. It was right before I went through a difficult divorce. Even before I was struggling in the midst of the coming turmoil I kept seeing that number. I thought God was warning me about an emergency, that there was a danger coming. But even a year after the divorce was over I kept seeing ‘911’. I started getting frustrated with God. “Yeah, I know. You can quit warning me now. I get it. It’s done!” But it kept appearing…911…911…911. Finally, I told my pastor about it and he recognized what it was right away. Psalm 91:1 “He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.” It wasn’t a warning. It was an invitation. God was inviting me to come into His presence and find safety and refuge and healing.

In another season I kept seeing the number ’47’. Over and over again. Again I knew God was trying to tell me something but this time I got out my Bible and started digging through Scriptures looking for every occurrence of combinations of 4 and 7. Starting in Genesis I found Gen. 4:7, Gen. 47, Exodus 4:7, and so on going through book after book, chapter after chapter, verse after verse until I came to Philippians 4:7 “And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” Something jumped in my heart when I read that and I knew that the message God had for me. So now when I see that number I think of the Peace of God and it helps remind me to let His peace come in and guard my heart and my mind. There have even been a couple of times when I’ve climbed in my car and started it up and the dash clock showed the time 9:11 and the temperature 47 degrees. Ha ha, God is funny!

So in this process of trying to be sensitive to hearing God speak in this particular way I found myself methodically going through my Bible looking up the chapter:verse number combinations whenever there seemed to be a number that seemed to repeat in an unusual way. This was slow and awkward so I wrote a program that would do the tedious part for me. A program where I could enter the number then have the computer display all the possible chapter:verse combinations for me to read through and see if something jumped out at me as a message God wanted me to hear in the moment.

Let me be clear. Like anything we as fallible people do, we can take things too far to one side or the other. We can ignore signs God puts before us like seeing a number repeat and miss an opportunity that God is giving us to hear something special from Him. On the other hand, if we are seeing numbers everywhere and thinking they all mean something we end up distracted from the Truth, chasing something we weren’t meant to and possibly being deceived. God speaks to us in many ways. We need to be spiritually discerning and let the Holy Spirit lead us. Also, anything we think we hear needs to be in line with the Word of God. These two Witnesses will help keep up us safely on the road. With that, I hope that this service blesses you and helps you receive a special message from God.

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If you’ve been blessed by this service, please consider giving to Path Ministries Ethiopian Orphans project. PATH has been operating in Uganda for several years, providing education and safe accommodations for children. They have recently expanded into Ethiopia. I hope you’ll take time to check them out and send some support!

Blessings,
Don Gray

Close your eyes and imagine. Outside the realm of time, in the expanse of eternity, you find yourself standing before a great Throne. You’re clothed in white. But you look and see that it’s not cloth your girded in. His glory covers you. The Father sits at the center of the Throne. His unfiltered presence washes over you. Love and Light. The purest you’ve ever known. His Son is seated at His right hand. Slowly He stands. And in that instant you see Him as both Lion and Lamb, the glory of His majesty revealed as King of all kings. All around you the throngs of people begin to cry out loudly, shouting “Holy! Holy! Holy! Worthy is the Lamb!” You join them. Unable to stand any longer in His presence you find yourself prostrate. There is a crown on your head but you take it off. Holding it in both hands you strain, offering it toward Him, the Worthy One. All cry out, “To Him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be blessing, and honor, and glory, and dominion forever and ever!” The vibration of the combined voices resonates through you, the unified sound carries up to the Throne. Even in the midst of the countless multitudes His eyes find yours, fixed on you as if you’re the only one He sees. He smiles at you lovingly. You now know Him as you have been known by Him all your life. A lifetime of tears are wiped away. The pains of all the yesterdays gone. As though they never were. You are with your Beloved. Eternity has begun.

Now. Come back to now. This world. This hectic world. With it’s pressures, fears, and pains. They are still part of the “Now.” But you, you were made for that future. For that other place, eternity with God. This world is really just an incubator. We see good. We see evil. Beauty and depravity. Love and hate. The Knowledge of Good and Evil has been unleashed in this realm. So we suffer. But here we get to choose. Here we get to become the thing He longs for the most. We are maturing into The Bride. As we give our hearts to Him, as we make that Choice. His heart melds with ours and we start becoming. We start moving toward that future moment. So when the trials and pains of life seem overwhelming. Close your eyes. Take His hand. And remember that moment outside of Time to which these sufferings cannot compare. A day when they won’t even be a memory. Jesus is the Way. He is Truth. He is Life. He is the Door to that moment. Hold on to Him. Trust Him. He wants you there. As we approach Christmas remember this, He was born into this world to get YOU to that place. To that moment in eternity. With Him. With the Father. Forever free. Forever whole. Forever healed. And it can start here and now.

(originally written 12-16-18)

We don’t seek revival, we seek the Kingdom. The full manifestation of God on the earth. Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done… We seek to be possessed by the Holy Spirit, letting Him live and reign through us thereby transforming the world around us. We, the Church, illuminate the kingly lordship of the enthroned Christ, Jesus the victor over all that was, that is, or ever shall be.

(originally posted 2/8/14)

It was 8 years ago today I woke up on a Sunday morning to an empty house. My wife of 18 years had left, my kids were staying with relatives. I woke up in excruciating anguish and despair, my fists clenched, my body shaking. I walked around my house like this for about half an hour groaning in despair, it felt like I was outside my body just watching it unfold. Soon I found myself with my gun in hand, flipping the safety off and putting the gun to my temple. With no hesitation I started pulling the trigger, the internal spring pulling the hammer back. This was it. The end. I didn’t take thought of anything except I wanted the pain to stop. But as the hammer drew back I heard a voice say, “Your children will find your body.” To this day I don’t know if that was an audible or a really loud internal voice. But it shocked me out of my stupor and I realized what I was doing. I dropped the gun on the bed and gathered back into my right mind. I would never in million years do that to my children. Leave them that way. I called my brother-in-law and told him what happened. We gathered all my guns and he took them away for safe keeping.

God saved my life that day and saved my children from horror and harm. I think about that fork in the road moment. What would have happened to them if I had gone through with it. How it would have affected their lives and the dysfunction it would have burdened them with for years to come. 

A few weeks later, still smothered in hopelessness and anguish I lay face down on my bedroom floor in the middle of the night, my soul empty, crushed, hopeless. I had nothing left in me. It was the lowest, darkest, most empty moment of my life. I had nothing left inside. From the deepest part of me a cry rose up and left my lips. Just one word. A plea to God. “Mercy.” As soon as that word left my lips the atmosphere in my room changed. I felt a presence enter. A presence of life, light, and love like I had never felt or experienced in my life. Though I didn’t see Him with my eyes He was very, very real. I knew instantly it was Jesus. He walked over and knelt beside me and put His arm around my back (I physically felt this). All that pain and hopelessness lifted immediately. For the first time I saw light at the end of that dark, dark tunnel. I knew in the end everything was going to be alright. 

I’ve experienced God’s presence before in my life and in many marvelous and life changing ways but I had never and have never experienced it the way I did that night. Jesus is pure love. Pure acceptance. He is good. More good than we know or imagine. Words don’t do justice in describing His love. There was not a trace of condemnation. No accusation. Only pure acceptance, love, and light. Knowing my own sin and failings I understood how Isaiah felt when he stood before the Lord at the throne and said, “Woe is me, for I am ruined! Because I am a man of unclean lips and I live among a people of unclean lips.” And I knew in the moment that the pure love and acceptance I felt toward me was how He felt about every man, woman, and child who is or ever was or ever will be. He. Loves. You.

The next months were hard, to be sure, but I was able to draw on this experience. I knew He was with me. And for quite a while I could walk into my room and just step over into His presence and visit with Him. He promised me many wonderful things. And many of those things have come to pass. Some I still wait for. In the weeks, months, and years to follow He did many marvelous and miraculous things for me. So today I look back and reflect on God’s goodness and faithfulness. Whether I deserve it or not, He’s kept me and cared for me and provided for me. His lovingkindness is real and it truly endures forever.

If you’re going through a hard time…no matter what it is…turn to Jesus. He’s real. He loves you. He will save and help you. Trust in Him.

(originally published 12/2/20)

[Something I wrote several years ago…]

Reading from Isaiah 53 this morning. It’s always so powerful.

“He has no stately form or majesty
That we should look upon Him,
Nor appearance that we should be attracted to Him.
He was despised and forsaken of men,
A man of sorrows and acquainted with grief;
And like one from whom men hide their face
He was despised, and we did not esteem Him.”
–Is. 53:2b-3a

Here He was, God become man, and He didn’t take on the appearance of Brad Pitt or George Clooney; He chose to be unremarkable, ordinary in form. He chose to identify with us ‘lonesome losers’ (thank you Little River Band). Growing up, I wonder if the other kids stayed away from Him? If He was that ‘weird’ Jesus kid that was so different from the others? Yet the day came when in His presence and within the sound of His voice, thousands followed Him.

“But He was pierced through for our transgressions,
He was crushed for our iniquities;
The chastening for our peace fell upon Him,
And by His scourging we are healed.”
–Is. 53:5

He became ashes so we could rise from ours, and in the midst of them find beauty, joy, and praise (Is. 61). God knows the end from the beginning and chooses whom He chooses. He chooses the weak and foolish to confound the strong and the wise. And raises people from ashes and destruction to demonstrate His power and His rich loving-kindness. If you feel like you’re in the ashes then rejoice because this qualifies you! He’s about to raise you up and show the world what only He can do with the broken and bent!

[a download on Sunday, May 3, 2020]

“Do you think I ask of you to do what I haven’t asked of Myself? 
Do you think patience works in only one direction? 
No. I wait. I wait. I wait. For My Bride to make herself ready.
I dreamed a Bride. A beautiful, beautiful Bride. 
To share by My side. My Glory. My Being. Myself. 
Don’t look to the world. Stop looking at the world. Look into My eyes. Look into My eyes and see.
See Me. See You. See Us. A plan from the beginning. 
To share. Share My Glory. My Glory that I share with no other. But You. 
My dream. My beautiful Bride. 
Come by My side. Come to Me and Me alone. I will share you with no other.”

[NOTE: I wrote this piece on February 11, 2015 when our church, Eagle Mountain Fellowship, was doing a year-long chronological Bible reading plan.]

“Go up to a land flowing with milk and honey; for I will not go up in your midst, because you are an obstinate people, and I might destroy you on the way.” -Exodus 33:3

Okay, maybe it’s my warped sense of humor but when I see this I hear: “Good night, Moses. Good work. Sleep well. I’ll most likely kill you in the morning.” Anyway…

The tent of meeting is such a powerful picture of the kind of relationship we are pursuing with the Lord. It says that “Thus the Lord used to speak to Moses face to face, just as a man speaks to his friend.” And I love how real and raw the conversation is. Moses tells God he isn’t willing to move forward without His presence…he’d rather stay in the desert with Him than move on to the land of milk and honey without.

“If Your presence does not go with us, do not lead us up from here. For how then can it be known that I have found favor in Your sight, I and Your people? Is it not by Your going with us, so that we, I and Your people, may be distinguished from all the other people who are upon the face of the earth?”

God’s presence distinguishes us from everyone else on the planet. Moses so longed for it he asked God to show him His glory…His very being! God gave him just a tiny glimpse, so as not to destroy him, and it physically altered Moses so that shafts of light emitted from his face….he had to wear a veil to not freak out the others.

How much more glory will God reveal to us, His purchased Bride? How much better of a place do we have to stand before Him than the Tent of Meeting? We have unfettered access to confidently stand before the very Throne..not just in the by and by but NOW!

“Therefore, brethren, since we have confidence to enter the Holy Place [The Throne] by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way which He inaugurated for us through the veil, that is, His flesh” -Hebrews 10:19-20

And His presence, that glory of His being, changes us:

“Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit.” 2 Cor. 3:17-18

The Greek word for ‘transformed’ here is ‘Metamorphoo’ from the same root of metamorphis (a catepillar changing into a butterfly). It’s the same word to describe Jesus transfiguration on the mount (a picture, I believe, of the potential of the Church, not His divinity; John was there and saw that but see how he totally loses it when he sees Jesus in His risen Godly glory in Revelation).

When we visit that heavenly “Tent of Meeting” it metamorphoses us into the beautiful, perfect, glorious Bride He has made for himself. It’s in this place of manifest presence we find honor and dignity of His intent for our creation…for His pleasure.

Love doesn’t always look like what we expect. God is love, perfect love. I’ve experienced it; been in His presence and felt that incomprehensible love emanating from Him for every man, woman, and child who ever was. It’s a true thing. A powerful thing. There was no condemnation in it at all. Only acceptance and mercy. Words can’t describe what I felt from Him that night He visited me in my darkest hour.

But His love is more than an “ooey-gooey” feeling. His love made Abraham wait 20 years before the promise of Isaac came to pass. His love kept Joseph in prison until his time came. His love forced David to go through many tests and trials before fulfilling the promise of making him king. His love sometimes makes us wait. Makes us wait way past what we think is fair and right. Painful waiting. But there’s always purpose in it. He’s forming something in us – Forming His nature and character in us. Giving us the tools and abilities to accomplish the purpose of His promise. The bigger the promise, the more difficult the test. But also the greater the reward.

In the end, if we pass our test and overcome the tempation to give up, He gives us “far beyond what we can ask, hope, think, or dream.” And He doesn’t leave us to our test alone. He is with us in the midst of it. Providing grace, wisdom, strength, and hope. If you’re in one of these tests, don’t give up. Lean into it. Grab the hem of His garment daily and don’t let go. He who promised is faithful. There will be a good end to it if you don’t give up.

(originally published 2/6/20)

The Moment
Of all the numbers I think One is my favorite. Some would think it a lonely number. Standing at the beginning of an endless line, yet infinite emptiness on one side. Every other number surrounded by like kind. But One stands different. Maybe that’s what I like about One. One moment. One smile. One encounter. Can change everything. One Promise made true. One child born. One first kiss. One step. The first step. It can change everything.

(originally written 12-13-18)

“To Him who loves us and released us from our sins by His blood.”  –Rev 1:5b

Of the top eleven Apostles (Judas doesn’t count), John is my favorite. Known as one of the Sons of Thunder, he started out a little rough. At one point he wanted to call down fire on a Samaritan village because they wouldn’t receive Jesus as He was passing through on His way to Jerusalem. Jesus straightened him out letting him know He came to save men not judge them. John saw himself in a very unique way; he described himself as the “one whom Jesus loved.” This, in my opinion, makes him stand out from the others, he grasped that his identity was intertwined with Jesus’ love. That love later became a central concept in his gospel and letters. Another fact about John that sets him apart is that when all others fled he was the only apostle at the foot of the cross. So close was their relationship that Jesus even entrusted the care of His mother to John.
Some scholars put John in his 80s when he was banished to the Isle of Patmos. The Romans had tried to boil him in oil but God supernaturally spared him unscathed. All the other apostles were long dead, each martyred. He was the last. I can only imagine what it was like feeling alone on that desolate island looking back on his life wondering why he was still here. “How much longer, Lord?” “When will I get to come home?” “When will I get to see my Master again?” In the midst of these thoughts a voice sounds and calls to him. He encounters the glorified Christ as King and falls at His feet as though dead then is taken up before the throne in the indescribable presence of the Ancient of Days. He’s shown many strange and awesome and terrifying things and told to write them in a book that would become the perfect end to The Book.
I can imagine some people thought John had gone crazy on that island, babbling on about scrolls and seals and voices and dragons. But in spite of all these crazy things, John introduces the book of the Revelation of Jesus Christ with how he knows Him best, “To Him who loves us…” No matter the craziness of the world and whatever you may think are signs of the end, the important part, the part to remember today, is you are loved by Jesus, now and for always.

(originally published 11/7/14)